(no subject)

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal...
5. ...along with these instructions.

I've used iso-8859-1 character encoding (which is the official name for the character set that Microsoft sometimes calls "ANSI") because in Western Europe and North America it's the character set that most text editors support.

"cummings" (or "why american english is, and should be")






may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
  • Current Music
    Bob Dylan - Mr. Tambourine Man



if there is any thing you want to do in life. any thing at all which you cant die without doing. do it now or forget about it.

death is something we first ignore, then avoid, and then try to cheat, through our life. our death, and the death of our own people. we dont understand death because we dont understand

life. we dont understand the purpose of our existence.

we dont understand the push of evolution, the curse of mortality that almost forces us to do something in our life that leaves behind a part of us for all eternity. and we do plenty of that. in being good, in being bad, in being selfish or indifferent, we do many, many things that change lives irrevocably. we change lives, for the better or for worse, but do we notice? are we even looking? or are we caught in this web of not understanding?

what if the purpose of our existence is to accept this lack of understanding? what if the purpose of our existence is an evaluation of faith? what if?

will we ever know?

why struggle against something as inevitable as life itself.

and we know it is inevitable. and yet when it touches us, it is beyond belief. beyond expectation. because it is beyond our understanding.

why struggle. give in to the emotions of the hour. move on. never forget who you are and what you want to be here for. and what she gave you which was hers to be part of you for ever. and by for ever i mean till your time and no more. for that is the ever which we avoid and seek as it suits us.

why struggle.

if there is any thing you want to do in life. any thing at all which you cant die without doing. do it now or forget about it.

NB this was a private note sent to a private person and i'm fully aware that the 'we' does not apply to everyone in general


i feel fucking worthless. i take 36 hours in place of 24, doze off in place of showing up at work; making it more than 48hrs, and when i finally get my ass online the floppy wont work, and top it off with labour day being a national holiday so i'll be damned if theres one shop in this area selling floppies at this time.
when i go home i'm gonna write the whole thing on a paper and bring it.
that doesnt solve the problem of converting the cp437 chars to iso8859, which i made a util in C for. i mean i can get the source code but then i'll need a compiler that can compile win32 binaries.

i would have been edgy and far beyond angsty. but i can only imagine what boss is going through because of all this.

can the world quit shitting all over me please? thank you.

PS: the util i talk about was a piece of work, less than 50 lines, it changes the stuff in-place (no having to handle two copies of the file), and does a 23 mb file in 3 seconds on my celeron 1.1ghz. i was actually happy about the way things were turning out
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated


i'm alive, and fine

theres so much to catch up with, i'll do it another time

in other news, i couldnt sleep last night

and then i couldnt wake up this morning
hello, btw :)